What was the biggest surprise to you about having a child?
There were so many surprises for me, but the biggest has been how much I love Eloise. It’s a love that is so deep in my soul that there are no words describe our connection. I feel as though I’ve known her forever. Another big surprise was how hard pregnancy, delivery and newborn days are. They all say nothing prepares you for the experience. That sentiment has whole new meaning to me now. NOTHING PREPARES YOU. I’m still overwhelmed when I think that every single person on earth has a mother who has gone through the same earthshattering process. This is so crazy to me, and comforting at the same time.
How do you balance Motherhood and work?
It’s a total team approach with Geoff. We each have our chores and responsibilities to make it all work during the week. He does daycare drop-off and I do pick-up (I definitely get the better end of that deal). I get her bottles and lunch ready for the day, and he feeds her breakfast. I’ve also become very good at compartmentalizing. When I’m at work, I’ve made a promise to myself to mentally give it my all and focus all my energy and attention on my job. When I’m at home, I’m all family.
What were some of your favorite memories as a child?
I honestly have so many… At the top of the list, would be our annual summer vacations to Martha’s Vineyard. We would look forward to the trip all year long. When we would arrive on the island and drive down the street to the condo we would rent, it was a contest to see who could spot the condo first in the distance. Other memories… Waiting for the ice cream truck with my brother on Mills St. Catching toads and crawfish (or what we thought were baby lobsters) in the creek on Branch Brook Rd. Staying up all night with Jess on Christmas Eve too excited to fall asleep. Visiting my Mum at work and getting to eat lunch in the Xerox cafeteria. Sitting on my Dad’s lap and him letting us steer his van through the New Canaan cemetery. Swimming in our pool on Mills St and going to bed with wet hair and a towel on my pillow. All holidays with aunts, uncles and cousins.
Do you have a mother role model you look up to in your family or friend?
Yes… a few! First, my mother. I don’t know how she did it. I don’t know how she raised two kids, worked full-time, cooked dinner every night, and was present for all our activities. She is a super hero in my mind. I think what stands out for me is that I have no memory of my Mum ever making me feel like she was rushed. She always took her time with me and Jess and I always felt like the center of her world. If I could inherit one iota of her grace and patience, I think I will be OK. I also totally look up to my best friends Dorie and Erin. Both are Moms to two young kids and both make it seem so easy… easier than most. I think often when one friend has children and the other doesn’t, the friendship may strain because priorities and interests are now different. This didn’t happen with Dor and Erin. Yes, they became Moms, but I didn’t feel like I lost them if that makes any sense. I hope I can be that way, too.
When was the moment that you decided that you wanted to become a mother? Do you remember?
It wasn’t a definitive moment. In fact, all through my late twenties and early thirties, I was waiting for “the moment”. The moment where I felt my biological clock ticking and I knew it was time. I kept waiting and, honestly, it never came. We knew we wanted to have a family of our own… one day. We just didn’t know when.
The moment you found out you were pregnant- what were your feelings? Where were you?
I was TERRIFIED. It was a Tuesday afternoon. For the two weeks prior, I had felt unusually tired and a strong feeling of general malaise. The weekend before I found out, I started to experience an incessant eye twitch in my left eye. Not the kind of twitch that I’ve seldom experienced in the past. It was constant and lasted for about forty-eight hours. That Monday I had a lunch appointment for work with an Indian doctor. During my presentation to her, she interrupted me and asked “Are you aware your eye is twitching?” I replied tongue-in-cheek, “Yes, it has been since yesterday. I’m pretty sure I have MS.” She then told me that in her culture when a woman’s left eye twitches, it’s a good omen that may indicate pregnancy! I brushed it off and didn’t think twice about it. The next day I was still feeling crummy. At one point, I had picked up my computer and held it against my chest and immediately felt pain. My chest was super tender! Right when I felt that tenderness, I recalled what the doctor had told me the day before. I then decided to take a quick break and stopped by the closest CVS and bought a pregnancy test. I went to the Dunkin Donuts next door to use their bathroom and take the test. And, yes, it was in a Dunkin Donuts public restroom that I found out that I was pregnant on a Tuesday afternoon in the middle of the workday. I was so scared and emotional that I ran out of the bathroom without my car keys!
How did you tell your husband?
When I finally got my car keys back and into my car, I immediately started calling Geoff, but he didn’t pick up. I kept calling and calling and calling. Finally, I texted him “911 emergency. CALL ME.” He stepped out of a meeting to call. When he called, I was crying so hard – hyperventilating – that I couldn’t speak. He started to freak out and tried to calm me down so I could get the words out. I took a deep breath and finally was able to say “I’m pregnant.” There was a brief pause and I could literally HEAR the smile on his face. He then started laughing and told me this was the best news he had ever received. That night he took the early train home. We made a pot herbal tea and called our parents to tell them the news.
How has life changed for you since becoming a mother?
Life has become a whirlwhind and even though it’s amazingly awesome, sweet and delicious, there is a bit of “survival mode” that goes along with it. Geoff and I joke that we can’t make any plans in advance now because everything is just so chaotic, piling up around us and we are just trying to make it to the next day. For example… we get a call from daycare that Eloise has a 102 degree fever, Geoff and I are both in meetings, water is pouring through our guest bedroom ceiling from the broken AC (that we just had installed a year ago), Pedro has developed a nervous “can’t stop licking the rug” tick and the washing machine breaks mid-cycle… and all this happens in a 24-hour window (or at least it feels that way). Oh, and not to mention Geoff and I both have colds from the cesspool that we call “daycare”. But, I wouldn’t change a thing because it’s all worth it.
What was the biggest surprise to you about having a child?
There were so many surprises for me, but the biggest has been how much I love Eloise. It’s a love that is so deep in my soul that there are no words describe our connection. I feel as though I’ve known her forever. Another big surprise was how hard pregnancy, delivery and newborn days are. They all say nothing prepares you for the experience. That sentiment has whole new meaning to me now. NOTHING PREPARES YOU. I’m still overwhelmed when I think that every single person on earth has a mother who has gone through the same earthshattering process. This is so crazy to me, and comforting at the same time.
How did your wardrobe change after becoming a mom?
“Can I nurse in this?”
What is it about your child that you want her to remember at this very moment?
Gosh, there is so much I would like her to remember… Like how she finds it hysterical when Pedro eats her puffs off of her highchair tray… Or how she laughs so hard when I play her the maracas… How when we lie in bed together, we can’t get close enough. Honestly, there are so many specific moments I would like her to remember, but I know she probably won’t. I do hope she can remember the feelings of joy, love and laughter that make up all those moments.
What it is that you want them to remember you by?
Wonder struck. I love her so much and am totally, completely obsessed with her every detail. I am fascinated by the person she is becoming. I feel that same level of excitement and anticipation I had on my wedding day every morning lying in bed with her wondering what’s in store for the day.
How was your relationship with your husband before your baby? How is it post baby?
We are really lucky because we love each other like crazy, we laugh a lot, and we are great friends… pre and post Eloise! But, having a baby has definitely changed details of our marriage. We hardly get to spend anytime alone together anymore. And that certainly puts a strain on things. We are more bonded now because of Eloise, but we also have to actively hone our marriage skills. 
How are you different / similar to your own mother?
Similar in so many more ways than different… We both love to cook. We both love to garden. We both love our children. We both love our husbands. We both adore our pets. And we both are always right. The thing that I really want to communicate to Eloise here is how much my Mum was there for me during my pregnancy and after. We are more close today than we have ever been. And my Mum loves Eloise so much and would do anything for her.
What are some of your favorite things about Eloise?
The way she smells. How she locks her legs like a soldier on the changing table. How she uses her entire body to smile. How she shakes her head back and forth. How gently she picks up her puffs. How she uses both hands to shake a shaker that is in only one hand. How she feels the “beat” of the music on her Baby Einstein walker. How she inhales and screams with glee when Geoff takes his guitar of the wall. How she makes a demon face when she poops. How PROUD she was of herself when she started to crawl. Her skin. Her cheeks. Her toes. How she wakes up smiling saying “Dada”. How much she loves the water. How excited she gets when I’m preparing her oatmeal at night. How her newborn hair closely resembled Paul Simon’s doo. Her outfits. Her white hat (it makes her look like a daisy). How she flirts with everybody. How she loves “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”. And how “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” was the ONLY thing that would make her stop crying during her first five months. Her chicklet teeth. How she looks at Geoff and I with such a sparkle in her eye.
