“There wasn’t one particular moment. I always pictured having kids. I actually always thought that I wanted a lot of kids, like 4 or so. Matt and I always dreamed of having a big family. Now that we have one it is definitely so challenging and so rewarding. We are going to try for one more and see how it goes from there. I just think long term, when I am 50 years old, who do I want at my Thanksgiving dinner? Who do I want at my holidays? I love being surrounded by family and Matt comes from a big family–just having everyone there will make me so happy. Right now, this is short term and I know that. The hard days will come to an end.”
“I’ve gone through phases in my life where I knew I wasn’t ready–like my twenties. I don’t regret at all having my full twenties to myself. Just me. I had Willa at 33. I’m glad I didn’t do it any sooner than that.”
“Motherhood takes so much time away from Matt and I. And I hate that. I never want to lose that deep connection with my husband; I don’t ever want him to become a stranger and I am just not sure how couples keep that connection when they have 4 kids. When do they have the time to be with each other?”
“We use to do surprise date nights while we were in the city. There’s always something new to do in the city. So we would say, ‘Okay tonight we are doing something and its going to be between 7th and 8th avenue on 25th st.’ We would have no idea what’s even on that street. We would go there and just pick somewhere to eat or something to do on that little block. And we go and be like, ‘Okay this is real sketchy block!’ Or we would be like, ‘Oh this is sooo cool!’ It just so awesome to be carefree and explore, it was so fun. ”
“Oh my god. I could not even wait. So we were in New Jersey visiting family. We had been trying so I knew it could’ve been a possibility. It was about our 3rd month of trying and I really thought that it was going to take us 8 months. That was in my head for some reason, I don’t know why. So I was like ‘Yeah, whatever!’ I was about a day late I decided to just take a test. We had gone to Target, we grabbed a bunch of stuff there and I also grabbed a test. We went back to his parents house. He was outside with his dad working on the car. I was upstairs in the little bathroom and I could see them outside from the window. I, ya know, peed on the stick, hahaha, and right away it showed that I was pregnant. I literally felt so many feelings at once. I felt like I was going to throw up, I felt like I was going to cry. I also felt insanely happy. I felt so scared and so happy at the same time and all I wanted to do was shout from the window. But I knew I couldn’t do that! I went downstairs talking to his mom and it was so hard for me to not tell her. I felt like an eternity went by but it was probably only 5 minutes. As soon as he came inside I asked him to come upstairs with me for a second. He didn’t know that I was going to take the test right away but he knew I had it. So I was trying to play it cool… I just could’t wait until that night to tell him at the apartment to do something cool. I knew I had to tell him right away. So thank god he was there because even now if I took a test and he was at work I would never want to text him ‘Hey we’re pregnant!’ But we got upstairs and I was trying to walk to the bedroom casually to sit down and tell him. I turned around in the hallway and said ‘I’m pregnant!’ I just…I had to say it right away, I couldn’t wait. I’m not one who’s good at keeping things in anyways. Im just an emotional person, I wear my heart on my sleeve.”
“We did not find out what the sex was. Ever. The whole time I was convinced that it was a boy. I sometimes feel like I am very intuitive, but I was dead wrong. Ha! I was shocked and so happy that it was a girl. I would’ve been so happy if the baby was a boy. But every time I went out while I was pregnant and saw little baby girl clothes I wanted to buy all of it. The moment you have your baby though, there is no way you could be disappointed with the sex.”
“Yes, my mom and Matt’s mom. Truly. I feel like thats were I have learned from, my mom did an awesome job and always made things fun for my brother and I, we always did something, in the house or out of the house, she made us who we are today. Matt’s mom raised a big family, she is a strong woman. She has helped me so much with Willa, if I could be half as good as a mom as both of them then I think we will be all set. I hope I can take as much from them as I can, I am so thankful to have them both. I do have a couple of girlfriends who I can rely on as a support group, ugh, thank god for the late night 2 am texts that they reply to since they are up dealing with the same or similar problems. It is so great to have that love and support from them on a personal level. Also, what to expect when expecting, an app on my iPhone, so super helpful!”
“Willa came from the HBO series Six Feet Under. I love that show, it is life changing. In the end one of the main characters names the baby Willa. I am so happy to have chosen a unique baby name, I hope she loves it as much as I love it! Sometimes I call her wills for short or willa bean (my brother calls her that) or sugar boogie.”
“Before the baby my relationship with my husband was more spontaneous, we were each others priority, we love to go out, always on the go, be physical and adventurous. We loved being outside and enjoying the outdoors, exploring new towns and traveling. We were never homebodies, outside running, working out together, cooking together, always on the go…..”
“Post baby, life slowed down. We lived in the living room for the first 2 weeks of her life. Chained down almost to our house, we still make each other each other’s priority, he always kisses me when he gets home from work, he is still my number one.
It is a new and different kind of love, I love both my husband and daughter equally and more and more each and every day. Matt and I will grow old together, we don’t want to lose our spark, we really love each other and it has always come easy but it’s hard to show it now post baby. We aren’t as adventurous and spontaneous, we want Willa to have a good base of a family and a marriage, and know that we are happy and love her so much.
I do wish I could have more date nights. We do spend time alone and have his parents watch her so we do have alone time, we are trying to have her tag along in our lives instead of changing everything for her, we want her to be a part of our life like we are to her life.”
“My go to meal is protein shakes, juices, (I don’t make my own I buy them), I use them for the energy.
Every week we make a big salad with mixed greens, grilled chicken with beans or corn. Its quick and simple to make and so good.”
“I love the poster that my brother got for her. He knows the artist, I just love how it is personalized.
I also love the vintage poster in her room, my husband and I picked it out. We originally bought a circus one but it wasn’t going to work so we called the dealer and got this one. This poster is totally girl. I mean, it could be for a boy but it was like I knew I was having a girl so I had to have this one.”
“My best friend had an etsy toy made for her and Willa loves it, she always holds it close to her.
One of my favorite things is her night light, it is a tiffany lamp. I got it from my friends at work when my grandfather passed; it is a remembrance lamp and it always reminds me of him whenever I turn it on. Also Willa was born on his birthday, the light is totally girly but it could be ok for a boy but it has little flowers on it so it fits perfectly.”
“I always have this complex that she doesn’t like me, ha, I know its not true but she loves and is smitten with her dad, it is so sweet. I know its because I am with her all day so she is probably just sick of me, plus her dad is just really funny and high energy so I can see why she likes him so much.”
“I didn’t realize how much I put myself fist. If I wanted I get a haircut or a pedicure or simply lounge on the couch and read a book all of those little things. I always thought I never really spent time for myself by myself.”
“Her cheeks are like little gel packs.”
“We try to do date night every other Saturday. I believe it is important to still have a life and a connection separate from your kids with your husband. Willa will be okay!”
“I love the fact that we made a little person; it’s so cool to see her grow. Willa has given us so much happiness and has completed us in so many ways. We feel like she was our missing puzzle piece. It is so much fun to do things the three of us, like going to the park playing on the swings or going on our little day trips. Our home is now full and so much more comfy. I think the 3 of us being able to experience new things for her or for all of us is great, we get to see things in a new way and makes things fresh and new.”
“That question is the reason why I wanted to do this shoot with you. I don’t have a lot of pics of me and my mom from when I was really little and I feel like the way you capture it is a great way, verses standing in a studio at target smiling at the camera. You capture real life and how I am feeling as well as my daughter. Physically I think this is cool too, seeing my youth and how I dress right now, and maybe she will look back and see herself in me. I hope she sees this and sees me in a different way, and knows how much I love her and how proud I am of her.”
“Love is everything that is on that canvas upstairs. It is so many things that aren’t even spoken, everyday things, things done for each other. Everything we do for her now is to make her happy and healthy and to protect her. With Matt you want have to say we love each other we just know it and the feeling of love, but we always do say it, and we always mean it when we say it–we get a feeling from it. Love is everything, it is what life is all about. It is so important, I have always been a loving person and happiest when I felt loved. People are so important to me and having Matt and I love one another is important for Willa to know.”
